Beauty Uncovered

Mirror, Mirror on the wall, am I as beautiful as them all?  When I was a little girl, I remember standing on the toilet in the bathroom looking in the mirror. I locked the door behind me, and grabbed my mothers make up bag. Starring deeply into the mirror I began to ask the question that all girls ask at some point in their lives. Am I beautiful? There was a tube of red lipstick inside, and I remember painting my lips with the precise expertise of a young woman of about 8. I was always fascinated with colors, make up, and hairspray. I would twist my long hair up and then let it fall. Admiring myself for what seemed like hours, I would sing the song, Fame! I know you probably have never heard of that song. It made me feel like I could be a dancer , a lovely ice skater, or even Wonder Woman. I always wanted a pair of my own Wonder Woman underwear.  I was for sure my life would change if I had a pair of those. I would hear my mother call me, and ask what I was doing in there. NOTHING MOM!!! I frantically wiped off the lipstick, but I still wondered about the girl in the mirror. Who was she? Was she beautiful? 

BEAUTIFUL

When you hear that word, BEAUTIFUL, what do you feel? What do you think beautiful is? Are you beautiful?  There is no one around and this is not a quiz; you do not have to give me the right answer. I think we all know the right answers. We are all well rehearsed, and IF this was a quiz, we would all get an A. Here is a right answer...It's the inside that counts. Yet, in 2012 according to the American Society for Aesthetic Plastic Surgery,"Over 10 million surgical and non surgical procedures were performed in the United States." The top most popular procedure was breast augmentation. Cosmetic procedures have increased 250% since 1997! In 2012 of women 18 and under the top procedures were ear, nose, and breast surgery. Did you hear me?? Women 18 and younger!! One in 200 women suffer from anorexia. It is estimated that 8 million Americans have an eating disorder.  This is staggering to me. Despite the right answers, there is something very wrong. Some how we have become a Shallow Hal society with our fantasies and dreams of what a beautiful women is. 

Psalm 139:14

"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well."

Do you know full well that you have been wonderfully made? Or when you look in the mirror do you see a Picasso type image that you think no one can make heads or tails of...especially you! Do you post selfie type pictures on Facebook, and Instagram titled...BORED...when what you might really be asking is...Am I beautiful?  Like the little girl (me) standing on the toilet admiring and scanning herself for beauty do you wonder...Does anyone notice me? Am I worthy?  Do you find yourself striving to measure up to some standard that you can never seem to quite catch up to? Or maybe you try not to look in the mirror at all because you hate what you see? Maybe you try to cover up with over sized clothes because you hate your shape. Maybe you have decided a long time ago your not the pretty girl, and so you quit caring...or so you hope everyone believes. Some of us may even feel offensive and like the ugly duckling.  Are you at peace in your own skin or do you covet your sisters, friend, or neighbors skin? I have decided to begin to look for beauty everyday in others and in myself.  Just this week, I sat with my grandmother who is in her eighties. She has the loveliest blue eyes. I was drawn to the beauty that is in her. She is a woman that loves Jesus, and despite the storms of life she has stood. When I think of what kind of woman I want to be I think of a generous, kind, soft hearted, lovely soul that is flourishing. A woman in love with Jesus, and governed by His ways. I think of a woman that rises to the calling on her life. I think of women in my life that I admire, and all of them in different seasons, and they are breathtaking.   God has a way of making us beautiful. How beautiful it is to see a woman that knows who she is and what she is called to do. That is so beautiful. 

1 Peter 3:3-4

"Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight."

I want to be beautiful...and I know you do too.  I want to be a woman that is flourishing.  I want to grasp onto everything that God has for my life. I choose to be a woman that rises up to her calling and walks with freedom. How about you? I pray that today, you will be able to look yourself in the mirror and see the beautiful woman you really are! Today despite all the right answers... I pray that God will get to your heart and sink His unconditional love and acceptance into your spirit. I encourage you to look for the beauty around you and in you. Do not go to Cosmopolitan for the answer. You do not have to play the LMS (like my status) game for a rate on Facebook. May you know instead, that your inner beauty and your heart is of great worth to God. It does not fade, and it is lasting. Today, take some time to engage in the presence of God, he is bringing forth your true beauty. 

Bandaid Please

Ouch, that hurt...

 Can someone get me a bandaid please?

When my boys were little, I started to buy super hero bandaids and keep them on hand just in case. Why you may ask? Well, because when you are training super hero's you are going to need some bandaids. I'd stroll down the isle of Walmart looking at the latest editions of bandages, and ointments. I was looking for just the right ones to be ready to treat wounds acquired from their adventures. It goes hand in hand...wounds and adventures. It kind of became something that I looked forward too...collecting the cutest bandaids. I started a drawer where I kept them...just in case someone got hurt. There was even one step bandaids, the ones that have painkiller or Neosporin already in them. The most recent favorite to my collection is my Angry Birds box of bandaids. Lately though the wounds that my boys might get while on one their adventures could require an E.R visit. It would be  inappropriate to try to put a Buzz Lightyear bandaid on one of those kind of injuries. 

Pain was never meant to be ignored...

Pain tells us when something is wrong. Pain is meant to be dealt with. It is a response to a hurt that is not suppose to continue. That is why when I am flat ironing my hair and I grab the hotplate I mutter, "OUCH THAT HURT!!" There is wisdom in not touching it again. It would be foolish to say okay, well lets see...just keep holding that hot straightener but put a bandaid on your fingers to cover up the pain. It just would not work.  Pain will persist until the issue is dealt with. Lets apply that to matters of your heart, and issues that cry out for attention. The doctor says your depressed and to deal with the pain of depression they give you a bottle of bandaids to treat your internalized grief and anger. One, two, three, your all better? Maybe someone left you, and so with each kiss of your boyfriend you hope that it will treat the rejection you feel in your life. Maybe the bandaid of sex will cover up the deep desire to fill wanted. Maybe you are that young woman that feels like your carrying a big empty tank in your chest, and life keeps bumping up against you reminding you that your empty. You gulp down the alcohol hoping to fill up the void but no matter how much you drink...it is still there...a void.  Maybe your marriage seems broken because your husband just isn't the man you hoped he would be. You find your eyes wandering comparing him to other men. The bandaid of adultery seems like a good idea. You are mad at yourself for failing and it seems like you will never get better, so the bandaid of bulimia offers to relieve the pressure. Everyone says joy is the best medicine right? So you laugh when you want to cry. No one will know, that your thinking you don't know how much more of this that you can take. It is not the pain that needs be treated...it is the wound. A simple cover up will not deal with a gashed heart.  We live our life and sometimes we get hurt. A heart wound is a bit different then a scrape on the knee. A miss kitty bandaid is not going to heal your sense of loss, abuse, bitterness,  broken heart, or pursuit of perfectionism. There are bandaids that we try to nurse our wounds with in hopes to get rid of the pain. In ministering to young people for more then ten years, I have seen many bandaids. Alcohol abuse, drugs, sexual addiction, eating disorders, are just a few ways we can attempt to check out of pain. For a moment it may help take the edge off the pain. It is easy to feel that even if it is just a brief relief, at least it is relief. 

      The thing about bandaids is that they eventually fall off...

Proverbs 34:18 " The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit." 

God is compassionate, our protecter, our healer and He is the only presence that will bring ultimate healing.   In this life is inevitable that while we are on our adventure that we are going to run across scrapes and bruises, and sometimes gashes. It is so important that you guard your heart, and are careful where you take it for healing. There is a saying that states,  time heals all wounds...and I partially agree with this statement.  A broken leg requires to be set correctly or it will heal wrong, and time will reveal the deformity that comes from not setting it straight.  This I believe, is the same with our heart. If we try to fix our brokenness with things that are are not right, we will not heal. It may look better for awhile but time will actually reveal the deformity in what once looked like a healing. Today, as you are walking through , and you become aware of bumps, and bruises that happen while living life: I pray that you will carefully take even the littlest scrapes to God. It is through his touch and compassion that we find mending. If you feel exhausted from trying every remedy known to man, to heal a broken heart; I pray today that you will take a moment to ask God why you are hurting, and to seek his truth about your heart.

Let God take a look at those ouches...

Love, 
Laura Jean

NO SHAME ON YOU

I am not quite sure when I became aware of its presence but I realize now it had been with me a  long time...a really long time. It was a nagging, heavy feeling that stuck to my heart, and one that couldn't easily be shaken. I tried to lose it you know...several times, but no matter where I tried to leave it; I always found it again. I felt like a little person carrying a big weight, but I didn't know how to get it off my back. I was pretty sure others could see it too because when I walked into a room, I could feel the pressure of their eyes, and my face would flood with the color of a squished tomato hurled at me from the crowd. Thats what it felt  like anyway. Squished...squished with insecurity.  I felt naked and ashamed even with my clothes on. Fear seemed to tip toe into every situation creating an atmosphere of mistrust, and  a need to cover up. Layers couldn't hide it.  Panic lived in my chest, as I tried to avoid the presence of shame. It demanded punishment. A voice said, "Shame on you."

Shame majors on killing intimacy. It causes us to run from God, and others. It seeks to hinder your life and leaves a residue of inadequacy, and self hatred. It feels like someone has you by the throat as it seeks to silence your voice. Shame will cause toxic relationships and separate families. It creates an atmosphere of fear in our lives and the sense of unworthiness. Embarrassment sinks in and we draw back from chancing trust. It hinders communication, and the filter is self loathing. Guilt causes the feeling of the need to punish and so shame bashes our identity, and handcuffs our spirit. Like a prisoner, we feel trapped. The soul cries to be free.

I will never forget her. She was a beautiful girl that I met in a mall. We met because she worked in one of my favorite stores. She had lovely ivory skin, and was dressed in professional black. She was very intelligent and full of conversation. She told me about all the new things to try. In this store they bring out the product you are interested in and they will wash your hands with it. Hoping to show case how wonderful their soaps are; in hopes that you will buy the product. I chose the rose scented wash, that she told me was filled with thousands of crushed rose petals. She grabbed her silver bowl and poured the warm water over my hands, and my spirit dropped. As the water trickled down my arm , and she rubbed the thousands of petals into my skin... I saw them. Hundreds of scars. All up and down her beautiful ivory arms. Deep scars. I had never seen anyone with that many cut marks. The smell of the rose petal soap was mixed with the feeling of grief. I could barely hold back the tears, and even now when I think of her...I cry. I knew that the voice of shame was speaking in her life. Her face and arms are etched in my mind. Shame demands punishment. The soul longs to be clean from the feeling of guilt. As I write this I think of Jesus....

 “I am the rose of Sharon, and the lily of the valleys.” (Solomon 2:1) 

 He was a crushed rose...

Isaiah 53:5 "But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed.

The smell of roses come again to my senses, as I think of His body that was broken for this girl and for you and me. The rose washes over my soul...and its scent is love.

I see Jesus, at the edge of a massive sea with the shackles of lies that lock away our potential and peace in His hands. By His compassion, He carries them. With a mighty throw, He hurls them deep in the hungry waves.They sink far away from us. 

Micah 7:19 "You will again have compassion on us; you 

will tread our sins underfoot and hurl all our iniquities 

into the depths of the sea."

How do we over come the feeling of shame in our life? 

The opposite of shame is honor.  Honor is a place of grace instead of disgrace. 

Today, I pray that the scent of a rose will come into the room of your heart. That you will see Him there  in the face of the shame you may feel. No ugly guilty feeling can stand in His presence, and the battered spirit will find joy and rest. I pray that you will know that His love covers and washes away all guilt. He takes hold of all the lies that seek to squash out your life, and hurls them far away from you. It is by abundant grace that we overcome shame. It is a place where we learn to give, and receive grace generously.  It is a place where we are able to accept the unconditional love of God.His love brings honor and not disgrace. It is by his grace that we can look shame in the face, and tell it to leave our lives. It is seeing yourself and others through the eyes of Jesus. Fear does not get to win in your life! You are blameless in His sight. NO SHAME ON YOU! 

Do you smell the Rose...